GF¢ 057: How to Be Financially Confident and Own Your Money Like a Boss

How can you gain some financial confidence even when you’re not sure how you’re going to be able to pay your next bill? I’ll show you.

Perhaps your situation isn’t so dire, but you’d like to build some wealth. You’re tired of the mundane, and you want to thrive, baby!

Whatever your situation, you can gain financial confidence by following three principles.

Also, check out these great tips on how to make quick money to help you have more to save! Soon, you’ll find some financial stability.

The Three Principles of Financial Confidence

In order to build up some financial confidence, you must pay close attention to applying the following principles to your life. Neglect one, and you’re done.

1. Commit to Achieving Your Goals

If you’re going to do anything, you must commit to it. You’re probably not going to pay off your debt in one week – you have to commit to the long-term goal. Most – if not all – financial goals are achieved over the course of months and years. A quick fix is seldom effective.

Also, you must commit to a specific time period – 21 days is a great amount of time to put a habit into place, but don’t stop there. This could apply to anyone getting out of debt, getting their savings in order, or learning about personal finance.

My wife and I made a commitment that we were going to pay off all of our debt before I was deployed to Iraq. I had existing credit card debt and some other debt that I acquired right before I left – one of which included LASIK surgery.

Each time I got paid, we would take as much as we could and apply it to our debt, but the key was that we were committed until we had paid every last penny (and we made a big dent by surfing the balance to a 0 interest balance transfer card).

Eric Rosenberg at PersonalProfitability.com thought paying off debt was a worthwhile goal for him, too:

When I started grad school, I knew I had to commit to stay on top of my personal finances, or I would end up in a world of trouble.

Two years later, I had paid off the entire cost of my $90,000 MBA and was on the road to success. If I had not made a commitment to myself to get debt free, it would never have happened so quickly.

Eric shows how it pays off (literally) to commit to your goals as early as possible. It was much better for him to pay off his debt early in his grad program than to wait and let it accrue interest.

Natalie Bacon at TheFinanceGirl.com also shared a story with me regarding her commitment to paying off debt:

My commitment to financial success has led me to leave my career as a corporate attorney and make massive strides with my student loan debt (starting at $206k and now at $125k).

Having the courage to believe in financial freedom and make sacrifices when my peers are spending wildly has been challenging.

While it hasn’t been easy, it’s been worth it. And coincidentally, the process through which I’m achieving financial success has turned into a personal growth journey that I wouldn’t have otherwise had. And for that, I am forever thankful.

Natalie shows how commitment and courage go hand in hand. They led her to make the leap from her career as a corporate attorney to be able to pursue other ambitions that helped her pay off debt. Way to go, Natalie!

Speaking of courage . . . .

2. Build up Some Courage

Once you commit, you start to build up courage in the process. Courage doesn’t always come before you start your commitment, it builds as you step out in faith.

Courage, like commitment, can also be very scary and often doesn’t feel fun because you might not feel like you’re making any progress.

If you think of it in terms of working out, courage is the burn you feel when you’re pushing yourself to the max. The burn doesn’t feel good, and you might not see results the next day, but there is progress being made.

When we were paying off our debt, I could remember feeling like I was making good money while I was deployed, but we didn’t really have a lot to show for it. This was largely in part to the fact that a lot of our money was being applied toward all our debt.

To be able to make it through the courage stage, you have to have some sort of measurable goal so that progress can be tracked. Tracking your progress will deepen your commitment as you begin to acquire capabilities leading to success.

3. Acquire Capabilities Leading To Success

When you start committing and sticking to your financial goals while building up courage, you’ll soon start to see and acquire capabilities.

If you’re working out, this is the stage when you might start seeing definitions in areas of your body that you’ve never seen before. If you’re tracking your credit score or trying to get your credit in order, you might see a few points of improvement in your score.

For us, it was finally seeing our debt totals dwindle down until we eventually paid one card off. That was huge for us. Paying off debt – like losing weight – sometimes feels impossible.

But once we had that first card paid off, it truly felt like a debt snowball, and we paid off the rest of our debt relatively shortly after that.

You see, as you start committing to achieving your financial goals and building up some courage, opportunities to acquire new capabilities will fall at your feet.

For example, as we paid off our debt, we had more control over what we could do with our income which resulted in us being able to put money toward our other financial goals – a capability we wouldn’t have had otherwise.

It’s also important to identify your capabilities so that you can build your financial confidence. Are you good at numbers? Perhaps crunch the numbers of your budget for your family every month. Are you good at shopping? Enhance your shopping skills by learning to select more frugal options at the store.

Grayson Bell at Wealthbytes.co explained how he used his ability to think outside the box to reach his financial goals:

My capability to think outside of the box has helped me not only pay off my consumer debt but change my financial life. I never settle for the status quo.

I learn new skills to make myself better and more marketable as an employee and business owner. These provide opportunities that enrich my financial confidence.

Grayson brings me to my next point . . . .

Confidence Is the Reward for Hard Work

The result of committing to achieving your goals, building up some courage, and acquiring capabilities leading to success is that you begin to feel confident. There’s a new pep in your step. You’re on top of the world, and nobody can stop you!

There’s nothing like putting on an old pair of jeans that you couldn’t fit into a year ago but now fits like a charm.

For us, not having the stress of paying our credit card bills anymore was huge. That allowed us to shift our monthly income into finally acquiring a meaningful emergency fund. Prior to being deployed, I don’t think we had $500 to our name!

You see, confidence isn’t something you have to have before you start achieving your financial goals. Confidence is built over time through gaining knowledge and experience. Don’t put the cart before the horse – confidence is one of the last goals you’ll achieve on the road to financial freedom.

Aja McClahanan at PrinciplesofIncrease.com agrees educating yourself is important – but so is taking action:

I feel like we (hubby and I) are inching up the financial confidence ladder as we educate ourselves and take more risks. We especially like crazy, dumb, impossible goals – we made debt-free in 2013 (got a home with no mortgage) and are looking to retire in less than five years. 

We’ve gained confidence by doing things – getting out of debt, saving up and investing in a non-retirement brokerage, and testing business ideas for residual income. 

The first time you get a nice gain in your portfolio or something like a big payout from a Facebook ad, you know that you can scale and do things on a level that will help you reach your goal. That’s financial confidence: setting goals, believing in them, then acting on them!

You’re going to need to commit and build up some courage to continue to take action. But first, you must commit to learning about finance if you want to get anywhere worthwhile.

Jackie Lam at HeyFreelancer.com agrees that doing the hard work of learning about finance will lead to confidence:

I think being resourceful really helps with financial confidence: from reading materials on financial literacy to coming up with ways to generate different streams of income.

Debt freedom expert Jackie Beck at TheDebtMyth.com agrees with Jackie about the importance of learning about finance to gain financial confidence:

No one is born knowing how to make the kinds of financial decisions that will ensure a bright future. My commitment to learning, dipping my toes in, and adjusting when necessary while staying focused on my goals helped me reach financial confidence. 

Once you do start to succeed and move toward your goals, your confidence improves even more. Of course, there will be failures and setbacks along the way, but using those as learning experiences is critical.

It’s through a commitment to financial education that anyone can be financially confident – see a recurring theme here? It’s persistence that wins the day.

Barbara Friedberg at BarbaraFriedbergPersonalFinance.com agrees that confidence follows persistence during difficult times:

Persistence and discipline are my life mottos. Regarding financial confidence, investing regularly through thick and thin has allowed me to see the fruits of my lifelong priority of saving and investing over spending. 

Practice smart money behaviors, forget about what others do, and wealth and confidence will follow.

Notice that Barbara agrees that smart money behaviors come before confidence. You don’t have to have confidence to make smart choices. Remember that confidence is the reward for hard work.

You Can Gain Financial Confidence Over Time

You might be thinking to yourself, “I’ve never had confidence. I’m not so sure I can gain it over time.” That’s a normal thing to say for someone who has no confidence.

But you see, it’s not true. You can gain confidence over time.

Derek Halpern at SocialTriggers.com explained in a blog post how he wasn’t always confident:

What’s the secret to becoming confident in any social situation? About 10 years ago, when I was just starting college, I would have said, “There is no secret. You either have it, or you don’t.”

And I would have been DEAD WRONG.

You see, back then, I had almost zero confidence.

But today, I’m thinking about getting “unstoppable” tattooed on my forehead.

You can learn exactly how he obtained confidence over time by watching his video. Essentially, he explains that by acting confident, you can actually become confident. It’s not just true in social situations, it’s true in any situation.

Don’t be confident enough to make uneducated financial choices. But do act confident enough to dive in and learn.

Social psychologist Amy Cuddy is mentioned in Derek Halpern’s video, and for good reason. She gave a fantastic TED talk showing how power posing can actually make you feel more confident. That’s right, and body language can actually change your confidence.

You probably already know that confidence can affect body language. This is, from what I’ve observed, the default mode of operation. Say, for example, that you are presented with a financial challenge.

You’re not sure of the solution, and finding the solution seems like an insurmountable task. What happens? Perhaps you droop down in your seat. Maybe you put your head in your hands. You start closing in on yourself.

What you probably didn’t know is that you can hack your body language to make you feel differently about the situation. Let’s say you’re presented with the same financial problem.

Then, you remember to strike a power pose. You stand, put your hands on your hips, and start feeling like you can conquer the world. Believe it or not, this really does work.

So, next time you are presented with a financial challenge, and you don’t feel confident, act confident, and you just might find true confidence lifting you out of the fog.

If You Fall Down, Get Back Up

You will discover a few roadblocks along your journey to financial confidence. For example, you might find yourself occasionally spending more than you make, forgetting to enter transactions in your budget, or losing money to a bad investment – don’t give up.

If you fall down, get back up.

I had a miserable time with investing in real estate, but I didn’t let that keep me from trying other investments like Lending Club.

Marc and Angel Chernoff at MarcAndAngel.com explained in a blog post that you should learn how to be okay even when you’re wrong or fail:

You don’t have to always be right, you just have to not be too worried about being wrong.

Just like occasional failures, being wrong from time to time is inevitable. People who take the position of always being right aren’t confident, they’re cocky. 

They think they know everything and they want you to know it too. Ironically, their need to always be right imprisons them from being able to learn from their mistakes.

To build true confidence, you have to not mind being wrong. You have to take a stand and then admit it if and when you realize your standpoint is wrong. It’s a process of trial and error that helps you discover what is right. And finding out what is right is a lot more important than always being right.

There’s an irony to gaining confidence: some types of confidence are subject to experience. When you’re wrong about something or fail at something, don’t lose confidence in yourself; instead, lose confidence in your particular belief or your particular method.

Valerie Rind at ValerieRind.com talks about how you can rebuild even if you’ve lost it all:

When you lose it all, you have nowhere to go but up. Rebuilding my finances and confidence led to an unexpected consequence: new careers in personal finance and writing.

Teresa Mears at Living on the Cheap (Facebook Page) adds to what Valerie said:

Valerie Rind said part of what I wanted to say: In life, there are certain financial setbacks that are beyond your control, and no amount of confidence or preparation will save you from losing substantial assets and sometimes everything. But knowing what to do can help you rebuild your life and assets.

One huge financial setback is divorce. But even that couldn’t slow Ashley Gainer at AshleyGainer.com down:

It’s not every day that our grit really gets tested, but mine did when I was eight months pregnant and my then-husband wanted a divorce. 

My commitment to being an at-home mom didn’t waver, so I decided to cut the budget down to absolute bare bones and do freelance work to keep the lights on. I lived on (often much) less than $2,000/month for the next three years.

During that time, I learned the value of unwavering commitment — in my case, commitment to being at home with my son, to staying out of debt no matter what, and to letting go of expectations and being open to creative solutions. I also learned why people sing the praises of cash budgets! 

Now that I’m in a better place financially, I feel financial confidence like I’ve never felt before. I might not be the most savvy money manager, but I know that I make good decisions, I’ve got what it takes to meet my goals, and I can take care of my family — no matter what. Having that confidence makes every other decision easier.

Commit. Find courage. Acquire capabilities. Over time, as you learn to pick yourself up and dust yourself off, you’ll gain financial confidence over time and realize the reward of your hard work.

Some Confidence Leads to More Confidence

There’s another benefit to gaining a little confidence: it leads to even more confidence.

Do you think I jumped into everything I’m doing now all at the same time? No way! I had to gain the confidence to put myself out there. For me, it all started with the National Guard. Serving overseas was a great confidence booster. But even when I got home, I needed to take things step by step.

I didn’t start with my own financial firm – I worked for another. Over time, I learned the ropes and gained confidence in my abilities to step out on my own and start my own business.

And do you think I had the knowledge and expertise to start a blog all on my own? No way! I hired help and grew over time.

Today, GoodFinancialCents.com has grown because my confidence has grown. Without growing my confidence, there’s no way I would have put my thoughts out into the world.

You see, there’s momentum that can occur as you gain some confidence. Don’t think you have to have a truckload of confidence in the beginning. Who does?

Instead, seek out even just a little confidence. Try something new. Take a few educated risks. Don’t worry if things get a little messy, just do something!

If you’re afraid of criticism because you’re trying to do something very few people do (like pay off debt or invest for retirement), remember these words:

To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. – Aristotle

There are always going to be haters. Trust me, as soon as you start trying to do well with your finances, haters will come out of the woodwork and try to bring you down.

Over time, I learned how to silence my haters. The people who are trying to bring you down are just jealous of your awesomeness. Instead of letting unkind words bring you down, let them motivate you to try something new.

Instead of throwing your budget out the window, lean into it and keep going – even if you make a mistake.

Instead of waiting to invest until you’re a few years older, why not get your feet wet and invest now?

Instead of working at a job you hate, why not take a few of the necessary steps to move into a job you love?

As you take these little steps, you’ll gain some confidence. And over time, that confidence will grow into more confidence. Really, the sky is the limit.

You can be financially confident. You just have to set your mind to it. Learn as much as you can, take some risks, and find success. Go do it!

A variation of this post initially appeared on Forbes.